Thursday, December 16, 2010

Dear Neighbour,

First off, I hope this letter finds your family in good health and that you are ready for Christmas. Did you get your children everything they asked for this year?

Now what about your dogs? You know, those two creatures you accepted full responsibility for when you brought them into your life? Forget about buying them a gift for under the tree, what they want most will cost you nothing. They are trying desperately to communicate their wishes but you seem to need a translation, so here it is. My Christmas gift to you.

The barking 24/7 means:

I'm lonely. I'm bored. I want nothing more than to be with you. Let me inside!

The scratching at the door means:

I'm lonely. I'm bored. I want nothing more than to be with you. Let me inside!

The whining means:
I'm lonely. I'm bored. I want nothing more than to be with you. Let me inside!

I try to understand your reasoning. Why do you even have dogs when you ignore their existence?

Do you have them for protection?
Neither of your dogs could or would do anything to protect your home or family in their back-yard prison. Get an alarm system.

Do you have them as lawn ornaments?
Buy a statue, your yard will look much better and you will save the minute a day you currently must spend feeding and watering them.

Do you have them for the children?

If that is the case let the dogs play with them! And socialize that Mennonite Mongrel puppy, because if he continues down the path he's on, with his poor temperament and lack of socialization skills I deem him most likely to bite a child. If this does in fact happen, I want to you know that it will be 100% your fault, but unfortunately the dog will pay the price for your stupidity. I can only pray the price it pays will be a new home where he will be a part of the family, but that is unlikely.

I have to ask... What happened to your last dog?

Did she lose her puppy appeal? Did she grow to large? Were the craters she was digging in your back yard bothering you? Did she escape and get hit by a car? Did someone complain about her barking?

She had an excellent temperament you know, happy-go-lucky and able to entertain herself. She was great with the children, but maybe you didn't see that? When you yelled at her for getting in the way she didn't take it personally and went back to amusing herself. This is much better than the puppy you are raising now but it could be that you don't recognize the signs. Your current puppy desperately needs to get out into the world. He needs to be handled and socialized, you aren't going to be as lucky with him as you were with her, this I guarantee.

Maybe you really don't know and I'm expecting too much from you. Let me help you out:
People don't like listening to your dog's mournful cries day after day. It's disrespectful to everyone around your home, not to mention to the dogs themselves.

So what do your dogs want most this Christmas? To be a part of your family and your best friend. You'll find that by giving this one gift of friendship you'll receive it back a hundredfold. Try it. You'll like it.

Sincerely yours,


Karen Thomason/Gordon Setter Crossing said...

YES! Someone needed to say that and you did. It always amazes me when people want dogs, get them, then ignore them. Dogs have needs but some people just don't realize that. Good job. I hope they see this. I back you 100%

Mimi and CC Cabana said...

We have neighbors just like this! Their backyard butts up against ours, and the dogs bark every time I step outside. And every time Cabana steps outside to do her business. I don't understand it either.