Life is full of choices. Personally I tend to over-analyze every choice until I give myself a headache but often there isn't an easy answer. Decisions are always harder when you want both things equally.
For example: Should I trial Bullet in July? Or not?
The trial is close and there will be no need for a hotel. Bullet knows the field and I'd be comfortable trialing there. It's a month away so I'd be able to visit a few times at least, and it's the only club I can get to during the week for practice. If I get Bullet's full SchH 2 there then I can trial for his SchH 3 in the fall. This is something I really, really want to do.
Then I consider the heat in mid July. Bullet doesn't handle heat well and I am not willing to endanger him for the sake of a title. Heat stroke can happen quickly. We could use more practice with blinds and other things but if my aim is perfection I will never trial so that isn't my biggest concern. I need to see how he is with the trial decoy, make sure Bullet's comfortable and the decoy is safe for him.
That brings me to option three. To never trial Bullet again and retire him from Schutzhund. This is ALWAYS a possibility in my head and always has been – it's nothing new. I love this dog and while the sport is exhilarating there is always danger involved, especially with Bullet. He's accident prone and throws himself over, through and around things with no concept of self preservation. Every time he crashes this option flashes like a neon light in my head. There are safer sports out there that he'd be just as happy doing. He adores tracking, I really want to start carting again and obedience is a given. And truthfully? Sometimes I get tired driving all over Ontario.
But I love training with my friends... I love the intricacies of the sport... I'd miss it. Sigh.
Perhaps I'm crazy for not always knowing what I want to do. Maybe I'm crazy because I think about these things so hard. Or maybe, just maybe, I care about my dog and I'm not crazy at all. Since most of this over-analyzing goes on in the privacy of my mind and rarely leaks out through my mouth or fingers I'm not bothering anyone but myself.
One good thing is that nobody cares about the final decision but me, and it doesn't matter anyway! :)
So... I'm going to play it by ear. Visit the club to train. Enter, and if it's too hot, pull him. Yes, that is my decision. For now.